What is Real Power?

By Paul Dunion / April 18, 2014

There is nothing more confusing in our contemporary society than the nature of real power. An ancient definition of the word power is to be able to. However, such ambiguity sets the stage for a myriad of twists and distortions. Before looking at the nature of real power, it may be helpful to examine two distinct distortions of power — the…

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Easing the Struggle

By Paul Dunion / March 26, 2014

We are struggling. We are taught that life can be understood, secure and predictable if we have the right education, right employment, right financial investments, right diet and exercise routine, right spouse, and right neighborhood. There’s nothing wrong with these prescriptions. They can bring a certain amount of satisfaction and comfort. However, they are not…

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Bad Communication Is Not the Problem

By Paul Dunion / March 16, 2014

Couples in committed relationships, as well as people working as a team, often want to improve their communication. In fact, nine out of 10 couples I see in counseling, initially report that their problem is bad communication. They go on to explain that they have done couples counseling and learned good communication skills like paraphrasing…

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The Betrayal of Manhood

By Paul Dunion / March 6, 2014

“Boy, it’s time for you to die!” proclaims an indigenous Chief flanked by tribal elders dressed in their ritualistic garb, about to address an American boy whom they found lost in the jungle and raised.  (From the film ‘The Emerald Forest’, based upon a true story.)  An unspoken tragedy of our times is that it…

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Do Your Know the Definition of the Word ‘Misandry’?

By Paul Dunion / March 6, 2014

I canvased over 300 people representing a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds, regarding the word denoting hatred of girls and women. Approximately 94% of those polled correctly identified the word as misogyny.  When asked to name the word defining hatred of boys and men, less than 2% were able to identify the word possessing that…

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Relationship Rx: 9 Tips for Establishing Emotional Intimacy

By Paul Dunion / March 6, 2014

When I ask a couple in couple’s counseling, “So, tell me about the current status of your intimacy,” they inevitably start talking about their sex life. When I proceed to explain I am interested in their emotional intimacy, the male quickly turns his gaze toward his wife and the female typically speaks of the loneliness…

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Giving vs. Receiving: Achieving an Effective Balance for a Rewarding Life

By Paul Dunion / February 17, 2014

“Don’t you ever think of others?” “Make sure you share!” “That’s you being selfish again.” These are just a few of the many appeals to giving that so many of us hear along the way. We are encouraged to be exemplary givers, with giving being elevated to heavenly status. The inevitable consequence is that the…

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Making Peace With Failure: A Love Story

By Paul Dunion / February 5, 2014

Allegedly, it is life at its best when we are succeeding and life at its worse when we are failing. How do we define success and failure? How do we come to have such a strong attachment to success and a deep aversion to failure? How does our relationship to success and failure define our…

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Secular Mysticism

By Paul Dunion / October 1, 2013

Secular mysticism is the theme of my latest book, “Path of the Novice Mystic – Maintaining a Beginner’s Heart and Mind”. Unlike most spiritual traditions of Mysticism which are connected to a particular religion, Secular Mysticism is not oriented around religion. Secular Mysticism offers us an alternative to either believing we can triumph over life…

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A Psychological Parent

By Paul Dunion / July 29, 2012

Many of us had custodial parents who attended to our basic physical needs for food, shelter and clothing.  However, many of us did not have psychological parents and it serves us to know what it means to have psychological parents. This is especially true when we consider that we typically parent ourselves the way we…

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