The Dangerous Pursuit of Happiness

By Paul Dunion / September 4, 2014

We may have wandered away from an ancient definition of the word ‘Happy’, which is ‘good fortune’ or ‘good luck’. We can easily see that the ancients attributed the occurrence of happiness to the gods. To suggest happiness can be pursued by us yanks the power and responsibility out of the hands of the gods…

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Procrastination

By Paul Dunion / August 4, 2014

An ancient meaning of the word procrastination is belonging to tomorrow. When we describe others or ourselves as procrastinating, we typically are making a disparaging remark. We do not as a rule advocate for procrastination. However, there may be times when some action or decision is better belonging to tomorrow. We can define some discerning guidelines for deciding about…

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7 Steps to Effective Fathering

By Paul Dunion / July 14, 2014

The role of father became marginalized as men moved their work from the farm to the factory. An availability and presence faded from the fields and the rap-around porches, as fathers picked up lunch pails in place of shovels and plows. As a man’s emotional involvement in the home diminished, more and more parental responsibilities…

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The Best-Kept Secret About Feeling Undeserving

By Paul Dunion / June 16, 2014

“I don’t deserve it” has been the most pervasive response I receive from clients when I ask if they’re ready to receive the good things in life. Accompanying the claim of undeservedness is an implicit feeling of helplessness, suggesting it is impossible to move away from feeling anything but undeserving. It is only too easy…

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A Time for Teachers

By Paul Dunion / June 10, 2014

We are in a time calling for genuine teachers. It is such a time because we are in dire need of critical lessons, which include: • How do we avoid reckless use of natural resources? • How do we strengthen an economic system driven by competition and laced with greed without the greed destroying us?…

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Losing and Regaining Your Faith in Life

By Paul Dunion / June 10, 2014

Nothing sets us up for psychological and spiritual malaise more than our loss of faith in life. When we turn against life, we naturally lean in the direction of death, which inevitably harms us, as we can lose vitality and a reverence for life. The damage can be temporary and repairable, or last a lifetime.…

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Vulnerability as Empowerment

By Paul Dunion / April 25, 2014

A common view of vulnerability is that it is simply unfortunate and should be avoided. That understanding of vulnerability works only if we pretend we are not on a deeply insecure and unpredictable journey. However, if we get honest about the nature of life, it becomes obvious that we have no choice. If we are to be…

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What is Real Power?

By Paul Dunion / April 18, 2014

There is nothing more confusing in our contemporary society than the nature of real power. An ancient definition of the word power is to be able to. However, such ambiguity sets the stage for a myriad of twists and distortions. Before looking at the nature of real power, it may be helpful to examine two distinct distortions of power — the…

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Easing the Struggle

By Paul Dunion / March 26, 2014

We are struggling. We are taught that life can be understood, secure and predictable if we have the right education, right employment, right financial investments, right diet and exercise routine, right spouse, and right neighborhood. There’s nothing wrong with these prescriptions. They can bring a certain amount of satisfaction and comfort. However, they are not…

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Bad Communication Is Not the Problem

By Paul Dunion / March 16, 2014

Couples in committed relationships, as well as people working as a team, often want to improve their communication. In fact, nine out of 10 couples I see in counseling, initially report that their problem is bad communication. They go on to explain that they have done couples counseling and learned good communication skills like paraphrasing…

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