Paul Dunion, EdD

You have loved in so many ways. You’ve loved with

caution, commitment, anticipation, hope and even

with desperation.  The heart has boundless ways

to love and if you’re to come to know love, it will

serve you to welcome them all. This blessing is

for conditional and unconditional love.

Unconditional love arises from deep sentiment,

not especially driven by eros or desire. You’ll

find it cresting at the beginning and at the end.

It’s the love a newborn child receives. The heart

simply rejoices to be in the presence of new life.

It comes again as the flame of life begins to wane.

Unconditional love appears anytime you simply

sit with the flow of your heart streaming. It may

happen watching a child at play, witnessing another’s

deep sorrow, being touched by another’s vulnerability,

or simply holding your beloved in a quiet repose.

This love feels without want.

Misunderstood, conditional love often falls prey

to accusations of shoddiness. It does not suggest

“I will only love you only if you’re satisfying certain

conditions.” It means that the sentiment of your

loving is accompanied by eros. Your loving

wants something.

Conditional love animates giving and receiving.

Mediocrity is disrupted. Wanting makes you

a potential receiver. It makes the other a giver,

whether they satisfy your request or meet their

own desire. The vibrancy of eros awakens hearts

and stretches a relationship to a new place.

These loves are meant to live in concert, finding

resonance in their interplay. One love crafted in

texture of deep sentiment. While the other ushers

in eros – the pulse of desire. Let your heart open

to these loves, becoming ever more clear about

which love your lived experience is asking for.