Maturation for the Mascot

The youngest child in a family often occupies the role of Mascot. If the stress in the family is not excessively severe, the child in this role knows how to play, have fun, and bring lightness to family life. This child’s gift of love is an offering of endless comedy with the price being arrested…

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The Scared and the Seductive

  The words sacred and seductive do not commonly travel together. However, I’ve come to appreciate how the meanings of these words can contribute to a deepened resonance with the Self. Two old meanings of the word sacred are “confirming what truly matters” and “to sacrifice”.  An old understanding of the word seduction is “to…

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Deliverance for the Lost Child

Personal power, fulfillment and emotional maturation greatly depend upon being able to identify and bring care to the childhood roles we occupied in our families of origin. No family is without stress and when exasperated, easily becomes a source of complex trauma for the children. Conditions such as mental illness, physical illness, addiction, and parental…

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Resurrecting Talk of Wisdom

Like a broken-down vehicle sequestered to a junkyard neither destined for repair nor recycling, conversations about wisdom appear to be consigned to oblivion. What happened to one of the most esteemed aspects of the human condition? Did we decide that it’s just too much to aspire to? Did we decide that knowledge is enough? We…

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In Need of Deepening

Sometimes, we settle for knowing what we experience by having an understanding of what it isn’t. So, it may be with the idea of depth. Typically, we know it isn’t about being superficial, shallow, or mundane. We use the language of depth regularly, “What she said was quite deep,” “This book is so deep that…

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Interrupting Heroic Patterns

  There are several roles that children can take on in a family. The more stress in a family the more rigidly children cling to one particular role, which leaves the advantages of the other roles unavailable to them. The most popular role is identified as the Hero. Inevitably, this child will receive the most…

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A Blessing for Being

There are ancient rivals named Becoming and  Being. Even if you have not thought about Becoming or talked about it, your body knows Becoming  as doing. You get educated, pursue occupational  goals, you achieve, you create a home, you pay bills and rake leaves in Autumn.  Without a great deal of consideration, you give Becoming…

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A Five Stage Re-entry into the Here and Now

The idea that it may be worthwhile to live as much as possible in the here and now seems to have been reduced to a minor spiritual axiom. Recently, while having dinner with an old friend who has enjoyed a generous amount of professional success, I heard a reference to the here and now as…

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Condemned and Free: Suspending Hostilities Directed at Truth

Truth is currently under siege. Nothing is more debilitating and devastating to a people than the pursuit of the best version of the truth experiencing a profound desolation. When a commitment to pursue the truth is sacrificed, we live with no North Star. We wander aimlessly or grab onto the loudest and most available voice.…

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Leaders Shamelessly Lost

Leaders are especially vulnerable to the cultural mandate that they are not supposed to be lost. Laurence Gonzales’ seminal work, Deep Survival, suggests that when leaders are lost, denial of being lost is inevitable. “Being lost then, is not a location; it is a transformation. It is a failure of mind. It can happen in…

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