“It behooves us to follow only those who, in so many ways, understand how to follow themselves.”

We have heard from several visionaries. Rilke reminds us to avoid being seduced into complacency by comforting ourselves with the familiar. Frankl suggested remaining in a sustained relationship with life by being curious about what life is asking of us.  Kopp invites us to let go of striving for improvement. He recommends embracing our essential goodness now, as the starting place for all growth. I decided to add my own understanding that it was in our best interests to suspend attempts to get life right and allow life to get us right.

It’s been said that when we trust another, we hold the

belief that the other will tell us the truth and be kind to

to us. In a culture so concerned with what goes on

between people, we define trust as a belief in two things:

to believe the other will tell us the truth and will be kind to us.

The same definition can explain trusting ourselves.

We now have a way to measure the trust we hold for

ourselves. Do you believe you will allow yourself to know

This week’s quote is from Sheldon Kopp: “I’m no longer interested in character development, as long as that implies in any way that my Buddhahood is not already at hand. My aim is to know and celebrate all that I am.” Kopp’s message is the cornerstone of my own growth and healing as well as the tone of my work with clients. Let’s look more closely at the meaning of this quote and its implications.

This week’s quote is one of my own.  You can’t get life right. But, if you allow, life may get you right. Given the guidance we receive from Rilke and Frankl, we may find enough ego adjustment to allow life to get us right. If we don’t follow their suggestions, it is likely that we will reduce life to an endless series of projects. The goal then is to summon enough ambition in order to attempt to successfully get each project right. This project orientation only guarantees to keep us busy and living with extreme pressure to deliver appropriately.

This week’s quote is from Sheldon Kopp. “I no longer hope to achieve good character, so long as that implies in any way that my Buddhahood is not already at hand. My aim is not improve my Self but only to know it all more clearly and to learn to celebrate all that I am.” Kopp is saying that he refuses to have his interest in personal development suggest that he is now unacceptable. He is advocating a radical paradigm shift, where improvement is not the driving force of growth and development.

I am typically very thankful when a quote comes my way, immediately touching and moving me to adopt its meaning.  My favorable response indicates that more information has just been added to my road map. A writer willing to get honest about life inevitably helps me to not only get more honest, but also to live life more on life’s terms.

I will blog a quote per week for the next five weeks, offering some suggestions about how to understand the quote. The first quote is from Rainer Maria Rilke, a Bohemian-Austrian poet, December 4^th, 1875 – December 29^th, 1926. Rilke’s quote is: “Our task is to be defeated by ever larger things.”

As religion may have disappointed and

disillusioned you,  you may forgot that

a religion’s shadow does not dismiss the

sacred. The sacred demands recognition,

even if it must wait for your reactions to

  the contemptible to wane..

The ancients remind us to understand the

sacred as “confirming what truly matters.”

Shed all naiveté! This confirming business

is not written somewhere. You’ll find only

suggestions and you are asked to stay in the

movement of confirming and not arriving.

You are asked to exercise enough courage

We don’t talk much about mercy anymore.

See if you can find a place for mercy in your

life, maybe, initially as a small gesture to

someone, most obviously deserving. Mercy

is in need of a renewed welcome,  and a

reverence much deserved.

Mercy offers many gifts. It defies reducing

forgiveness to a cavalier consideration.

The anti-forgiveness attitudes become

more lucid. The righteous energizers

of revenge and punishment become more

transparent, shedding  their camouflage.

Mercy is the herald of forgiveness.

I don’t know how to die with you.

There are so many ways we have

not yet begun. Thrown together

as mother and son. Never my intent

to have my uniqueness become

something so frightening for you to know.

In the beginning, I decided that your

fear meant there was something wrong

with me. That gradually shifted to there

must be something wrong with you.

Over time I made peace with the stranger

you called son.

What matters now, is the sorrow of a