You are a pilgrim, moved, pulled and directed by tension.
You were welcomed to this world by uterine muscle spasms.
Invasive contractions remained oblivious regarding your readiness.
Forces larger than you will come again and again, ushering
you somewhere you’ve never been. Let your early beginning
continue to inform you about the nature of the journey.

It’s a journey directed by creative tension. It possesses a
primordial knowing about birthing, beginnings, endings
and a tendency to extract you from the familiar.
A life is a series of being reborn again and again. At times
there may be adequate preparation, as much as you
pretend you know where you’re going, you won’t have a clue.

Your childhood would have either been at least

a bit arid or overrun with strong winds and ongoing

cloudbursts. These early beginnings were marked by

too much or too little affection, attention and

encouragement. There would be no perfect climate.

You would turn to the only thing in your control.

You were not able to change what was coming

at you. So you changed the size of your soul. Or

at least pretended you could. Some under-sizing

would offer the hope that your family would not

• It is extremely helpful to recognize and name tension in the present moment.
• Locate the tension in your body.
• Direct your breath to the area of the tension.
• When possible, verbally acknowledge the presence of tension. Recognition and acknowledgement go a long way toward helping manage tension.
• Notice and name any emotion associated with the tension. Typically, fear will be the emotion affiliated with tension and occasionally, anger or sadness.
• Interrupt any catastrophic thinking. You likely will neither be fired, be abandoned by your family nor die in the next hour.

You have loved in so many ways. You’ve loved with

caution, commitment, anticipation, hope and even

with desperation.  The heart has boundless ways

to love and if you’re to come to know love, it will

serve you to welcome them all. This blessing is

for conditional and unconditional love.

Unconditional love arises from deep sentiment,

not especially driven by eros or desire. You’ll

find it cresting at the beginning and at the end.

It’s the love a newborn child receives. The heart

“It behooves us to follow only those who, in so many ways, understand how to follow themselves.”

We have heard from several visionaries. Rilke reminds us to avoid being seduced into complacency by comforting ourselves with the familiar. Frankl suggested remaining in a sustained relationship with life by being curious about what life is asking of us.  Kopp invites us to let go of striving for improvement. He recommends embracing our essential goodness now, as the starting place for all growth. I decided to add my own understanding that it was in our best interests to suspend attempts to get life right and allow life to get us right.

It’s been said that when we trust another, we hold the

belief that the other will tell us the truth and be kind to

to us. In a culture so concerned with what goes on

between people, we define trust as a belief in two things:

to believe the other will tell us the truth and will be kind to us.

The same definition can explain trusting ourselves.

We now have a way to measure the trust we hold for

ourselves. Do you believe you will allow yourself to know

This week’s quote is from Sheldon Kopp: “I’m no longer interested in character development, as long as that implies in any way that my Buddhahood is not already at hand. My aim is to know and celebrate all that I am.” Kopp’s message is the cornerstone of my own growth and healing as well as the tone of my work with clients. Let’s look more closely at the meaning of this quote and its implications.

This week’s quote is one of my own.  You can’t get life right. But, if you allow, life may get you right. Given the guidance we receive from Rilke and Frankl, we may find enough ego adjustment to allow life to get us right. If we don’t follow their suggestions, it is likely that we will reduce life to an endless series of projects. The goal then is to summon enough ambition in order to attempt to successfully get each project right. This project orientation only guarantees to keep us busy and living with extreme pressure to deliver appropriately.

This week’s quote is from Sheldon Kopp. “I no longer hope to achieve good character, so long as that implies in any way that my Buddhahood is not already at hand. My aim is not improve my Self but only to know it all more clearly and to learn to celebrate all that I am.” Kopp is saying that he refuses to have his interest in personal development suggest that he is now unacceptable. He is advocating a radical paradigm shift, where improvement is not the driving force of growth and development.