Paul Dunion, EdD

“I don’t deserve it” has been the most pervasive response I receive from clients when I ask if they’re ready to receive the good things in life. Accompanying the claim of undeservedness is an implicit feeling of helplessness, suggesting it is impossible to move away from feeling anything but undeserving. It is only too easy…

We are in a time calling for genuine teachers. It is such a time because we are in dire need of critical lessons, which include: • How do we avoid reckless use of natural resources? • How do we strengthen an economic system driven by competition and laced with greed without the greed destroying us?…

Nothing sets us up for psychological and spiritual malaise more than our loss of faith in life. When we turn against life, we naturally lean in the direction of death, which inevitably harms us, as we can lose vitality and a reverence for life. The damage can be temporary and repairable, or last a lifetime.…

A common view of vulnerability is that it is simply unfortunate and should be avoided. That understanding of vulnerability works only if we pretend we are not on a deeply insecure and unpredictable journey. However, if we get honest about the nature of life, it becomes obvious that we have no choice. If we are to be…

There is nothing more confusing in our contemporary society than the nature of real power. An ancient definition of the word power is to be able to. However, such ambiguity sets the stage for a myriad of twists and distortions. Before looking at the nature of real power, it may be helpful to examine two distinct distortions of power — the…

We are struggling. We are taught that life can be understood, secure and predictable if we have the right education, right employment, right financial investments, right diet and exercise routine, right spouse, and right neighborhood. There’s nothing wrong with these prescriptions. They can bring a certain amount of satisfaction and comfort. However, they are not…

Couples in committed relationships, as well as people working as a team, often want to improve their communication. In fact, nine out of 10 couples I see in counseling, initially report that their problem is bad communication. They go on to explain that they have done couples counseling and learned good communication skills like paraphrasing…

“Boy, it’s time for you to die!” proclaims an indigenous Chief flanked by tribal elders dressed in their ritualistic garb, about to address an American boy whom they found lost in the jungle and raised.  (From the film ‘The Emerald Forest’, based upon a true story.)  An unspoken tragedy of our times is that it…

I canvased over 300 people representing a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds, regarding the word denoting hatred of girls and women. Approximately 94% of those polled correctly identified the word as misogyny.  When asked to name the word defining hatred of boys and men, less than 2% were able to identify the word possessing that…

When I ask a couple in couple’s counseling, “So, tell me about the current status of your intimacy,” they inevitably start talking about their sex life. When I proceed to explain I am interested in their emotional intimacy, the male quickly turns his gaze toward his wife and the female typically speaks of the loneliness…